Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Swine Flu: The End of the World

Stardate 04-28-2009

Swine Flu Facts:
-There are 190 confirmed cases of the swine flu in the US. Of those confirmed cases, 38 of them are already confirmed dead.

-The first symptoms of swine flu feel like mild allergies, then it moves on to feel like a cold. The virus then jumps to a heavy fever and strong flu like symptoms. The fever is actually so strong that it boils your brain. Of those who have already died, many reported in their last moments being able to smell burnt bacon.

-Officials are urging all to rush to the hospital at the first signs of allergies or cold like symptoms. Swine flu can only be stopped if you catch it in these mild allergy or cold symptoms stages. If it gets to a fever, you're dead.

-You can catch the swine flu from eating bacon or talking to Mexicans.

-Just like the CIA created the AIDS virus to kill off all the gays in the Unites States, the swine flu was also developed by the CIA to kill off all the illegal Mexican Immigrants in the United States. Many, including Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck, deny that swine flu is a government conspiracy and are claiming rather that swine flu came about from "Illegal Mexican Immigrants having sex with pigs." (They said it, not me.)

I hope you have all grasped the seriousness of this PANDEMIC. Mark my words. In a matter of weeks, people are going to be dropping like flies. All industry will shut down. We are going to run out of food and water. Now is the time to go out and buy guns and ammo. We must protect our families and food storage. Bar your doors and board up your windows. Kill anyone who comes to your door because they will obviously be trying to steal food from you and your own.

The worst thing about this whole mess is that the liberal left wing media elite are doing all in their power to down play this in order to shield the Obama Administration from looking bad. We must get the truth out to everyone. I would suggest copying this post and emailing it to everyone in your address book. Keep hope alive.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

WatchMen With Large Blue Members

Stardate 04-01-2009
For weeks now my readership has been screaming at me, demanding to hear what the second smartest man in the world thought of Watchmen.
The answer should be obvious. Who wouldn't love a movie that has point blank murder of a pregnant woman, German Shepards who eat little girls, a man who gets his face burnt off by boiling french fry oil, hatchet chopping to the head and a giant blue penis. Of course I loved it.

I guess some might say that it was too graphic. My response to those people is that if you removed a couple of the F words, this thing probably would have gotten a PG-13 rating. In fact, Watchmen is rated PG-13 in Canada.

I really do think that Zac Snyder did an excellent job of bringing Watchmen to the big screen. The cutting back and forth from present day story to past back story was pretty seamless and the back stories added a ton to the film. I thought the acting was excellent, especially from Jackie Earle Haley (Rorschach) and Denny Duquette (The Comedian). It broke my heart to see the Denny Duquette that both I and Izzie Stevens love being such a terrible person in this movie.

Two thumbs up. I can't wait for the sequel.