Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Sword of Truth Series

Stardate 12-14-2009

After dedicating 295 hours and 15 minutes of my life to listening to The Sword of Truth series on my iPod, it is finally done.  The Sword of Truth series is one of the more commercially successful Epic Fantasy Book series out right now.

Written by the extremely handsome Terry Goodkind, The Sword of Truth series follows the story of  common wood guides-man, Richard Sypher, as he is pulled out of his non-magical world, and is forced into a world where magic exists.  Richard is soon named the Seeker of Truth and is entrusted with the Sword of Truth, an ever powerful sword which draws its power from its wielders wrath.

This is an 11 book series.  Except for the last three novels in the series, each novel is a stand alone novel and each comes to a conclusion.  Though each novel does stand alone, there are themes and elements that carry over from book to book.  Books 1 and 2 in the series really are awesome and then books 3-8 are just such a huge let down.  Goodkind redeems himself a bit in books 9-11, but its just nowhere compared to where he started.  I listened to 10 of these 11 books on mp3 and though I'm glad I was able to finish the series, I am definitely not recommending the series to my literally thousands of readers and here is why:

1. The characters have no depth and are one dimensional.  They are completely black and white and good or evil. There is no in between.  The views and actions of the good guys are always correct or justified, whereas, the bad guys are always wrong. 

2. Though I have to give him credit for his creativity, I don't believe that Terry Goodkind is a talented author.  Except for the last three books, Goodkind is never able to weave multiple story lines together.  The following is literally the plot outline for the first 8 books in the series: Richard gets separated from the other main characters.  Because of his love of life and living, Richard will do everything humanly possible to make it back to those he loves. After listening to nothing but this for 20-30+ hours, we finally make it to the end of the novel where Richard slays the bad guy and is reunited with those he loves.  What killed me in every novel was how incredibly long it took to get to the end and then once they do get to the end, the problem is resolved literally in seconds.  The ending of every novel is more anticlimactic than anything I have experienced in my life.

3. Goodkind floods books 3-11 with Ayn Randian philosophies/opinions about life and individualism.  I've heard Uncle Chris say, "Ayn Rand is a bitch," and now I understand why he feels the way he does. 

4. In every novel, Goodkind helps the story move along by reviewing events that took place in the previous novels.  A little back-story and a reminder of key details is helpful now and again, but what Goodkind does is overkill.  For example, the customer reviews of book 7 in the series are so terrible that I decided to skip it completely.  I was hesitant to do this at first because I was worried that I would be lost when I started book 8, but because of the amount of reviewing that Goodkind did in book 8, I was able to listen to book 8 without any problems or confusion.

What I did like about the book:
1. I have to give Terry Goodkind credit for the other worldly monsters that he creates.  They are imaginative and creative and always extremely violent. 

2. The overall level of violence and gore in the books is top notch.  I most definitely grew to love the phrase, "..his warm viscera bathed the ground," which can be found in just about all the books.  Perhaps one of the better endings was in book three when Richard is found without his sword, and has to improvise.  In a flash, he uses his speed and strength to jab his hand into the bad guys stomach, rip threw skin and organs, grab on to the base of the bad guys spine, and in Mortal Combat fashion, rip his spine out of his stomach.

3.  Sitting down at the Dogfather for lunch and discussing the series with Papa Suite, who recommended this book series to me.  Even though it didn't turn out to be my favorite series, it was still fun to listen to and discuss the story with the man who has read more Epic Fantasy and Science Fiction than anyone else that I know.   

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Fall TV Show Reviews

Stardate 12-03-2009
My literally thousands of readers have been screaming for months now, desperately wanting to know what I think about the 2009 TV Fall Line up.  After some reflection I realized that I have been quite neglectful and cruel to my literally thousands of readers.  I know how badly you all want me to tell you what you should be watching. To be honest, I've been a little disappointed with 2009's Fall TV Schedule.  There seems to be a serious lack of scifi shows out there right now.  I've even resorted to watching some non-sci fi shows.  Its been a bit of a sacrifice, but necessary in order to keep a strong relationship with TV.

What happened to Mondays?  They used to be such an amazing night for sci fi TV.  Now it just blows.

The show started out amazing.  It continued to amaze me until the Season 1 Season Finale, which blew.  I suffered through 2.5 more seasons before I quit watching it.  Though my by T-Bag from Prison Break is getting rave reviews this season, I still haven't bothered and either should you.  Drop it if you already haven't.

OK, so I am a little embarrassed to admit that I watch this show.  The only reason I watch it is that Captain Malcolm Reynolds, aka, Nathan Fillion is the lead.  My hopes are that this show is a hit, Fillion becomes a commercial success, and returns to making awesome sci fi TV shows and movies.

Sons of Anarchy:
This spot on portrayal of life within a Motorcycle Club makes me wonder what I'm doing sitting behind a desk.  I should be out on the road, running guns on my Harley, avoiding the ATF, conspiring with the IRA, and beating the piss out of anyone who deals drugs in my town--especially the White Supremacists.  The Season 2 Finale was amazing.  They set up so many great and twisted story lines for next year.  Go and rent or buy season one and watch it with your kids.  Your family will love it.

So You Think You Can Dance:
This is the reality dance show that people under 50 watch, which makes it very cool.  Though it can't boast of Donny, this show has some pretty amazing dancers.  Don't believe me?  Check out Ryan rip this solo to some very appropriate music.  I'm sure the Scorpions couldn't be prouder.

My female and I barely made it through the first season.  We couldn't believe how bad it was.  They made some serious changes both behind and on the screen for season 2 and I couldn't be more pleased.  If you loved the original, Dawson's Creek, or The OC, then you need to start watching this show. 

Flash Forward:
I'm still up in the air about Flash Forward.  In fact, I'm a few episodes behind on my DVR which means that its definitely a tier 2 show for me.  Good news is that ABC has dropped showrunner Marc Guggenheim (one of the producers for ABC's "Brothers & Sisters") and is giving full reins to David Goyer.  Basically, what everyone is hoping is that the light and fluffy Guggenheim is gone, Goyer will have free rein on the show and will give it a dark and gritty edge.  I say keep watching and see where it goes.  By the end of the season we should make it to the actual date of the flash forward.  I'm willing to watch up until that point just so that I can see what direction they take the show after that.

Modern Family:
This is my favorite new show of the season.  My favorite characters are Manny, the passionate 11 year old Colombiano, and Phil, the cool dad.  I really feel like they could do without the cheesy, heartfelt moment at the end of every episode, but I guess its not so bad.

I thought the Pilot was a bit choppy, but that it really caught its stride about 3/4s of the way through.  I am intrigued and excited for the rest of the season.  I'm a bit surprised that one of the 29 V ships that landed around the many cities around the world did not land in Orem/Provo, UT.  If the Vs were smarter, they would realize what a great business opportunity they would have to sell and market their life saving health supplements in that city. 

This is by far the best night of the week.  There are so many wonderful shows on Thursday nights that there are times that I have 3 shows recording at once.  Thank you DVR.

Parks & Recreation:
This one had a slow start its first season, but I felt it ended strong.  Season two has improved even more.  The cast and characters seemed to have found their stride.  I think I love this show because my job deals a bit with government bureaucracies and I love how this show makes fun of local government.  By far my favorite character is the boss, Ron Swanson, who despises big government and his ex-wife.  My favorite line from this season was when Ron was describing his ex, he said that, "Every time she laughs, an angel dies."

I told myself that even if the first few episodes were crap that I needed to stick with it and give it a real chance.  I really wanted this show to be good.  After 3 episodes I couldn't handle it anymore.  My brother told me to give it another shot and watch one of the more recent episodes.  I did and I still felt the same way.  Its just not funny at all to me.

The Office and 30 Rock:
If you don't think these two shows are funny then I honestly don't know how we can be friends.

This is by far my favorite sci fi show of this year.  I look forward for Fringe more than any other genre show right now.  Though it seemed to lag in episodes 5-7 this season, everything else has been great.  I loved the bible references to the beast and the multiple dimensions that we saw in the season 2 premier.  I hope they expand on that later in the season.  I've also loved the communication between the agents in our dimension to their dimension.  Moving forward, my biggest hope is that they start to lace more episodes together and have less stand alone episodes.  I can't wait to see what happens with Pacey and Pacey's mom.

Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia:
This is my favorite comedy show right now.  Though I feel that this season hasn't been as funny as their previous seasons, I'm still loving it and pleased to see that both their DVD sales and viewership is steadily increasing each week.  The highlights for me this season have been the milk steak, Rowdy Roddy Piper on the Wrestling for the Troops episode, and the D.E.N.N.I.S., system for dating.

I was loving this show by the end of season 1.  I'm not sure what the dealy yo yo is, but season 2 just blows.  I had to force myself to watch the first two episodes and it just seems like its going nowhere but to the chopping block.  I had high hopes for this season, seeing as how Fox gave Joss a bit more creative control.  I really wish they would have ditched this and kept Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles

Stargate SGU:
This is my first foray into a Stargate TV series and I'm pleased so far.  I'm a few episodes behind, but I'm really enjoying this new TV series.

Legend of the Seeker:
Season 1 came out when I was really into the Sword of Truth series.  Because of this, I was really mad that they changed the story so much from the books. I ended up ditching the show after about 8 episodes.  Now that I have had a chance read the entire series and have realized how crappy it is, I'm not so upset.  So far, I have been able to watch season 2 without freaking out that it is so different from the books and its allowed me to enjoy it a bit more.  Don't get me wrong, this show is still crap, but its the kind of crap that's fun to watch.   I watch it on Hulu when my boys wake me up early.

There you have it.  That's all I've got for the Fall season.  I'll have to do a little research and let you all know what you should be watching for the Spring 2010 season.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

New Blog for Darth Spencer

Stardate 11-26-2009

I've started a new blog.  Don't freak out.  Though I know I've been quite the slacker lately, the SciFiNerdBlog isn't going anywhere.  I've created a new blog for the Ronin Jiu-Jitsu Center, the school where I have been training in Jiu-Jitsu for over the last year or so.  Jump over and check it out.  Here is the LINK

We are trying to get our name out there and also trying to get more people to come and sign up.  So make sure to add a link to the blog from your blog or web page.

And if you want, come and try out some classes for free.  There is info on the blog about where we train and when.  There is also a link to our actual web page.  Simply put, its one of the funnest things you'll ever do.  Its great exercise (I've lost  a bunch of weight), excellent stress relief, you learn new stuff every week which keeps your mind and body sharp and quick, our teacher is extremely talented and there really is a great group of guys who are already going. 

I was pretty hesitant to sign up because I was worried that I would be training with a bunch of meatheads who would try to hurt me.  I found that I was completely wrong.  Everyone tries to create a safe environment where everyone can learn and progress. 

You can become a fan of Ronin Jiu-Jitsu Center on Facebook HERE
Or, follow us on Twitter, HERE

Here are some pictures to prove that I really do Jiu-Jitsu

This is me and Jake after Jake advanced me to my blue belt.  I of course elected to do a prom picture.  I felt it was appropriate.

Students are given the ceremonial uki goshi (floating hip throw) upon awarding of a new belt.  Here I am being thrown by Jared

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Embrace the Klingon Empire

Stardate 10-27-2009

Check out this viral propaganda video from the Klingon Empire that portrays the eventual takeover of earth. Is this the first glimpse at a viral marketing campaign for the new Trek movie or is someone just really creative and having fun? Here you go:

The video and additional content can be found here. You can find a letter from a fellow Terran who has already joined the Klingon Empire at the site. Here is a taste of what its says,

"Hello fellow Terrans! My name is Tanas T'var and I'm a warrior in the Klingon Empire, or Tlhingan Wo' in the mother tongue. I'm here to tell you about a wonderful culture I've become a proud member of and and how soon you will be a part of as well. The Klingons are coming. Its time we all got ready."

I love the propaganda theme.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Things Just Got a Whole Lot Easeir for the Muslims

Stardate 09-21-2009

It seems that throughout time, America and the world picks an ethnic group, or a race of people, a religion, or a life style to discriminate against. After September 11th, 2001 things got a whole lot harder for Muslims. Thanks to shows like 24 and nut jobs like Glen Beck, the majority of people started to believe that Muslim = Terrorist. Well, the school yard bully has a new punching bag.

Daniel Jones of the International Church of Jediism was thrown out of a department store in North Wales because of his religion. He was thrown out after he was determined to be a security threat because he refused to remove his hood.

"I told them it was a requirement of my religion, but they just sniggered and ordered me to leave," said Jones, also known by his Jedi name Morda Hehol. "I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil. Surely the same rules should apply to everyone."

The handbook of the U.K. Jedi Church, which was founded last year by Jones states that "Jedis must wear a hood up in any public place of a large audience."

"It was discrimination," said Jones. "I was really upset. Nobody should be treated like that."

A spokesperson for the department store said, "Jedi are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side. If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they'll miss lots of special offers."

Not enough to convince you of the discrimination against Jedis? Well, as I've done some research about the church, I've found that they are currently fighting another battle to even be recocnized as a true religion. Apparently, not even Acorn (who recognizes Satanism, Wicca and Yoga as approved religions) will recognize them as a true religion. If someone were to mark Jedi as their religion on the census, Acorn would classify them as "Outside Scope." I'm starting to understand why everyone hates Acorn.

Readership, this post is full of harsh and sad realities. I prefer to end things on a positive note. Below is the the mantra of the Jedi Church. Learn it, repeat it, and may the force be with you.

There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Harry Potter Land!!!

Stardate 09-17-2009

I just read some most excellent news and I thought you all should know. Universal Studios Islands of Adventure is adding a new section to their park. Those of you who have been there will know that the park is broken up into a few different sections that all have a theme. Currently there's a section for Marvel Comics, Dr. Seuss, Old Universal Cartoons like Popeye, Jurasic Park and some other ones. Well, they are adding a new section which will be Harry Potter land. I can't wait to sit down in the Three Broomsticks and sip a butter beer. Here is a list of the attractions:

From the front archway of Hogsmeade to the immensity of Hogwarts castle, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter will feature the locations listed below:

* At the entrance of Hogsmeade, billowing steam and an iconic whistle signal the arrival of the Hogwarts Express into Hogsmeade station
* Across the way is Zonko's, a joke shop with a collection of tricks and jokes, including Extendable Ears, Boxing Telescopes and Sneakoscopes
* Honeydukes is next door and full of treats like Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans
* The Three Broomsticks and adjacent Hog's Head pub will feature traditional British fare and drinks including Butterbeer and pumpkin juice
* Across from the Three Broomsticks is The Owlery, where owls roost and await their next delivery
* The Owl Post sends letters with a certified Hogsmeade postmark and sells official stamps from The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
* Ollivanders wand shop is an incredible interactive experience where the wand chooses the wizard
* Completing Hogsmeade is Dervish and Banges, the magical instruments and equipment shop featuring Quidditch equipment, Triwizard apparel, Spectrespecs and Remembralls
* The first attraction, Dragon Challenge, features a twin high-speed roller coaster with many iconic elements from the Triwizard Tournament
* Next is Flight of the Hippogriff, a family coaster simulating a Hippogriff training flight over the grounds of Hogwarts castle
* Located in Hogwarts castle, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey is a thrilling new state-of-the-art attraction that uses entirely new technology to bring the magic, characters and stories of Harry Potter to life in ways never before experienced
* Before exiting back into Hogsmeade, Filch's Emporium of Confiscated Goods is full of Ministry of Magic and magical creatures merchandise, Omnioculars, and even remote control Golden Snitches

Here is an interactive video which shows depictions of the park

I think the ride in Hogwarts Castle sounds really cool. I invision it to be an updated and more advanced Harry Potter version of the Spider-man Ride at the same park. If so it should be amazing. I know where we are going on vacation in spring 2010.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Why I Hated the New Harry Potter Movie

Stardate 07-27-2008

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was probably my second favorite book from the series. I spent more time reading, listening and thinking about this book than any of the others, because after reading it, I was bursting with desire to understand how everything was going to turn out for Harry. Of course, Half Blood Prince teaches us about Voldemort's life and the Horcruxes. Its where Harry learns how to destroy a Horcrux. And of course, it sets up what Harry must do in order to defeat the Dark Lord. Not only that, but it furthered the Snape, good v evil debate.

I hated the Half Blood Prince movie because it cut out everything that was great about the book, and went into too much detail about the less important plot points. I was infuriated that they added two completely original scenes that were not in the book. This made me really mad because they waste our time with two extra pointless scenes, but take out about 80% of the Harry/Dumbledore/Voldemort flashbacks.

I was trying to think back at the important information that we learned from the flash backs in the book that were not in the movie and that technically, movie Harry would not know. Most important would be that Dumbledore never even taught him how to destroy a Horcrux. He would not know about the other possible Horcruxes such as the cup. He would not know that Voldemort used a valuable object from each of the 4 great houses for his horcruxes. I also didn't like that Dumbledore seemed completely caught off guard when they finally saw the true flashback memory from Professor Slughorn. He acted like he had never even considered this a possibility. Why would they dumb down Dumbledore?

And though not a crucial part of the story, I was most pissed off that there was no fighting after Dumbledore was killed. In the book, there is fighting between the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters both before and after Dumbledore dies. The movie was just so boring and slow, and I kept telling myself, "Don't worry it will be worth it when we see the huge wizard duel at the end after Dumbledore dies." I about blew up when they killed Dumbledore, and then peacefully walked out. Such garbage.

Now I'm really worried about the The Deathly Hallows because the same moron who did the screen adaptation and who directed Half Blood Prince, are also the idiots behind Deathly Hallows.

And what I can't figure out is that everyone I talk to tells me that they like the movie. Its almost as if people are afraid to say anything negative about a Harry Potter movie. Please share your thoughts about the movie here.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Greatness Continues

Stardate 07-15-2009

The enhancements of Jane Austen's novels just keep getting better and better. Thanks to the smashing success of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the publisher is back for round two. Coming out in September will be Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Even better news is that they have taken even more liberties. Zombies featured 85% of Austen's text and 15% new story. Sea Monsters will have 60% of Austen's text and 40% new story.

Check out this excellent book trailer:

I still have not read Zombies, but it will most likely be the next book I buy. I thought we were going to read it for book club.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Are Transformers Made of Adamantium?

Stardate 07-09-2009

I've been living like a bachelor this week. My female and the children are staying up at my parents house. Bachelor life is great. The house stays clean and I get to read and go to as many movies as I want. This week I hit both Transformers 2 and Wolverine. I enjoyed Transformers and was disappointed with Wolverine.

Here is my beef with Wolverine. First off was the bad guy Zero. He was obviously supposed to be the first super soldier in the secret Weapons program. This not accurate. Everyone knows that Captain America was Weapon I. Next, I was not happy that the Adamantium came from outer space. Everyone knows that Adamantium is the second most indestructible metal on earth. The most industructible metal on earth is Captain America's shield. What really happened is that the Weapons program was attempting to re-create the sheild and could not. The best they could do was create Adamantium.

The movie felt choppy and didn't seem to flow very well. I also didn't like that they turned Deadpool into Weapon XI. They are planning a spin off the Deadpool story and I'm not quite sure how interesting its going to be since we already know his fate. The one thing that I really did like about the movie was the end fight scene when Deadpool was using multiple mutant powers while attacking Wolverine. That was very cool.

I actually really enjoyed Transformers. I don't know why everyone is hacking on it so much. Its an action movie that was full of action. What more do you expect? There was one thing that bugged me and that was the Cylon "Skin Job" Decepticon. What was with that Michael Bay? What bugs me even more is that Michael Bay went on a huge rant about McG (who I hate) for making some of the Terminators in Terminator Salvation look too much like the Transformers, but apperently, he has no problem ripping off Battlestar Galactica.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

"Pop It, Pop It Tommy, POP IT!"

Stardate 07-07-2009

The other night I was blessed to see Best of the Best 2, the follow up to one of my all time favorite martial arts films, Best of the Best. For me, Best of the Best ranks right up there with (if not better than) The Last Dragon. I'm not sure how many of you out there in the blogsphere have seen Best of the Best, but I remember watching it numerous times on HBO with my brother when we were young lads. Here is the basic plot out line for Best of the Best. A rag tag group of martial artists from across the United States are assembled in order to represent the United States in world wide Karate Tournament. There are some fabulous sub plots and as I recall, the movie has an excellent Rocky feel. I was able to find a couple of clips to some of my favorite parts.

In this clip, Alex, played by Eric Roberts, gets his shoulder dislocated. In an excellent, cut me Mick, type moment, Alex calls on Tommy Lee to POP IT!!!

By far the best scene of the movie, and most likely one of the best endings of all time, Tommy Lee faces Dae Han, the man who killed his brother. Watch the first 6 mintues. I dare you to hold back your tears.

As far as Best of the Best 2 goes, it had its moments, but had none of the emotional back bone of the original. Though I must admit it was awesome to see Alex Grady and Tommy Lee back in action once again.

Please note that as Father's Day approaches, that Best of the Best is now on the top of my Amazon Wish List.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Strain

Stardate 05-15-2009

I just read that Guillermo del Torro, the brilliant writer and film maker behind Pan's Labyrinth and the Hell Boy movies, is releasing book 1 in a new vampire trilogy. The book is called, The Strain. Here is a little tag line from the book...

They have always been here.
In secret and in darkness.
Now their time has come.
In one week, Manhattan will be gone.
In one month, the country.
In two months—the world.

After Stephanie Myers completely ruined the vampire myth with her garbage Twilight series, I'm excited for this to come out. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. Check out this excellent clip from the very very funny show, Free Radio. In the clip, Lance is interviewing one of the actors from the movie.

Now, I already know what all off you lame Twilight fans are thinking..."Yeah, the movie wasn't great, but the books are amazing." And if you are thinking that, then you are wrong. The books are also horrible.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I Have Been, and Always Shall Be, Your Friend

Stardate 05-12-09

When I first heard that JJ Abrams was going to be behind a Star Trek reboot, I was ecstatic. Then when I heard that they were going to be doing a prequel and that the story would be about how Kirk and Spock met each other at Starfleet, I was deeply disappointed. I was not disappointed about hearing the story of how Kirk met Spock, but rather, I was disappointed in what would come after that. How would they move the series forward and keep it interesting when we already have a clear time line of most all the major events that take place in the characters lives.

***Major Spoilers Ahead***

Now that I have seen the movie, my disappointment and fears of how they will move the series forward have been washed away. Here is what I understood from the movie. When Nero was sucked into the black hole, he and his ship were transported through time and space. They arrived 153 years into the past and proceed to attack a nearby Federation ship, the USS Kelvin. This act changes the continuity of time, thereby creating an alternate reality/dimension. Now the series can move forward with a clean and unknown time line of future events. They have paved the way for original stories that don't necessarily have to be consistent with Star Trek cannon. It will be crazy to see what happens in this new Trek dimension. Lets just hope that Nero didn't bring a Sports Almanac from the year 2387 with him.

There were some things that I really liked about the new Trek movie, and some things that I didn't like. My biggest disappointment was Nero. He was a pretty lousy bad guy. Not much to him.

For sure my favorite part of the movie was when young Kirk met future Spock and asks him who he is. Spock responds by saying, "I have been, and always shall be, your friend." I totally got goose bumps at this point. These are of course the famous last words from Spock to Kirk before he dies at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Another thing that many of the original fans are torn about is non appearance of The Shat in the new movie. Here is a link to a very interesting interview with the writers of the new movie. They talk about an alternate ending that they were planning where The Shat would have made his way into the movie. The article goes into more detail, but in case you don't want to read it, here is a video of the writers talking about how they would have worked him in. I think they had an excellent idea and that their alternate ending would have really added to the film.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Swine Flu: The End of the World

Stardate 04-28-2009

Swine Flu Facts:
-There are 190 confirmed cases of the swine flu in the US. Of those confirmed cases, 38 of them are already confirmed dead.

-The first symptoms of swine flu feel like mild allergies, then it moves on to feel like a cold. The virus then jumps to a heavy fever and strong flu like symptoms. The fever is actually so strong that it boils your brain. Of those who have already died, many reported in their last moments being able to smell burnt bacon.

-Officials are urging all to rush to the hospital at the first signs of allergies or cold like symptoms. Swine flu can only be stopped if you catch it in these mild allergy or cold symptoms stages. If it gets to a fever, you're dead.

-You can catch the swine flu from eating bacon or talking to Mexicans.

-Just like the CIA created the AIDS virus to kill off all the gays in the Unites States, the swine flu was also developed by the CIA to kill off all the illegal Mexican Immigrants in the United States. Many, including Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck, deny that swine flu is a government conspiracy and are claiming rather that swine flu came about from "Illegal Mexican Immigrants having sex with pigs." (They said it, not me.)

I hope you have all grasped the seriousness of this PANDEMIC. Mark my words. In a matter of weeks, people are going to be dropping like flies. All industry will shut down. We are going to run out of food and water. Now is the time to go out and buy guns and ammo. We must protect our families and food storage. Bar your doors and board up your windows. Kill anyone who comes to your door because they will obviously be trying to steal food from you and your own.

The worst thing about this whole mess is that the liberal left wing media elite are doing all in their power to down play this in order to shield the Obama Administration from looking bad. We must get the truth out to everyone. I would suggest copying this post and emailing it to everyone in your address book. Keep hope alive.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

WatchMen With Large Blue Members

Stardate 04-01-2009
For weeks now my readership has been screaming at me, demanding to hear what the second smartest man in the world thought of Watchmen.
The answer should be obvious. Who wouldn't love a movie that has point blank murder of a pregnant woman, German Shepards who eat little girls, a man who gets his face burnt off by boiling french fry oil, hatchet chopping to the head and a giant blue penis. Of course I loved it.

I guess some might say that it was too graphic. My response to those people is that if you removed a couple of the F words, this thing probably would have gotten a PG-13 rating. In fact, Watchmen is rated PG-13 in Canada.

I really do think that Zac Snyder did an excellent job of bringing Watchmen to the big screen. The cutting back and forth from present day story to past back story was pretty seamless and the back stories added a ton to the film. I thought the acting was excellent, especially from Jackie Earle Haley (Rorschach) and Denny Duquette (The Comedian). It broke my heart to see the Denny Duquette that both I and Izzie Stevens love being such a terrible person in this movie.

Two thumbs up. I can't wait for the sequel.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Next Van Damme

Stardate 03-18-09

The 80s and early 90s had no shortage of awesome action stars. I'd say that Arnold, Sly, and Van Damme for sure topped the list. Unfortunately, it seems like these days, Hollywood just isn't making any awesome action movies such as Cobra, Eraser, or Time Cop. I've thought about it and I just can't really see who could step in, fill in the void and become the next big action star. For a while, I thought that maybe The Rock would be the man for the job. The Scorpion King was pretty awesome, but now it seems like he's trying to diversify.

Well, I have some good news. I think I've at least found the next Van Damme. Young, up and coming British Actor, Scott Adkins has slowly started to be recognized by Hollywood. He started out making some obscure martial arts films in Hong Kong. He broke into the American scene with his role in Undisputed II: Last Man Standing. In the future, we will see Scott face off against Wolverine in Wolverine Origins. He will play Weapon XI and will fight Wolverine in the final fight scene of the movie. Also, Scott is currently finishing up production on his first lead role in Ninja.

Check out this awesome video tribute to Scott and his martial arts action greatness

What? Do I hear you all screaming for more? You got it. Here are some fight scenes from Undisputed II: Last Man Standing. BTW, the amazing plot of this movie is that prisoners have a chance to fight for their freedom. How awesome is that. I bet the tag line for this movie was something like, "Prison Rules DO Apply," or something amazing like that. Enjoy.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Today Show Ruins Star Wars

Stardate 02-26-2009

I have hated the Today Show for years now. I just can't stand how annoying and fake they all are. Here they are ruining Star Wars.

I must say that this group of people look awesome. I love that character development is part of the work out.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Stardate 02-25-2009

Joss Whedon, the man behind of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Serenity, etc. has a new show on Fox called Dollhouse. Its about a secret organization which has the ability to program their agents to fulfill any task you need them to accomplish. This aspect of the show is sort of like that part of The Matrix where they program Neo to learn Kung Fu, except on Dollhouse, after the agent accomplishes their task, their memory and abilities that they received for that particular mission, are completely wiped out. So far, for me, the most interesting thing about this procedure is that the abilities that they give their agents are abilities that they have somehow been taken from someone else. I'm very curious to learn more about the history of this company and also to explore the ethical aspects of this.

The first episode was so so, but I kept with it and I'm glad that I did. The second episode was awesome and I can't wait for this week's episode.

Everyone should give this show a chance. There are some pretty interesting characters so far and the story that they are setting up seems like it will be awesome.

Go watch the first two episodes on HULU and then start watching Dollhouse, Friday nights on Fox.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Bodly Going Nowhere

Stardate 02-09-2009

I've got some excellent news about a new show that I hope will get picked up this fall. The creators and writers of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Rob McElhenney, Charlie Day, and Glenn Howerton, have developed a science fiction comedy for Fox called Boldly Going Nowhere. Here is the tag line for the show:

"Centering on the crew of a spaceship, which is led by a rogue captain. The stories explore what happens between the adventures and how the crew members take care of daily routine things on the spaceship. Single Cam."

I was most excited to see that Tony Hale, who played Buster on Arrested Development, is attached to the project. He will play the ships Android. There are also a couple of familiar faces from Sunny who will start in Boldly Going Nowhere. David Hornsby, who plays Rickety Cricket, will be one of the main officers and Atremis Pebdani, who plays Artemis on Sunny will play a character named Startemis.

(Those of you who don't watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia need to start. You can catch almost all the episodes on Hulu or you can buy the DVDs. I noticed that the full seasons are on sale at Costco for only $19.99)

Here is a YouTube clip from last summer's ComicCon of the guys from Sunny talking about the new show.

I also read that Ben Stiller is developing a comedy for Fox called, The Station. The show will take place in South America and is about a covert CIA group who is secretly working to bring a new dictator into power. I can't wait.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Why I Should Never Say Never

Stardate 01-29-2009

As many of you know, I have ban on anything Jane Austen. Especially her crappy books. I've sworn solemn vows that I would never read any of them. Well, I am seriously thinking of temporarily lifting this ban so that I can read this

This book is a posthumous collaboration between Jane Austen, author of Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Persuasion, and other English literature classics, and Seth Grahame-Smith, author of How to Survive a Horror Movie and The Big Book of Porn. I can't think of a better team to bring us this updated masterpiece.

Here is how the book is described:

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of fans.

I'm very curious to hear what all the Jane Austen fans have to say about this. I think its awesome and I can't wait to read it.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Black Medicine: Finger Attacks

Stardate 01-20-2009

Well, Readership, the count down to the end (2012) has begun. Today, Obama was sworn in as President; so starts the moral and economic downfall of our currently thriving nation. I'm proud to say that I saw this coming and blogged about it back in February of 2008. Computer Data tells me that others are concerned about this subject as well. According to Google Analytics, since October 27, 2008, 704 different people have looked at my post titled, "2012: The End of the World." Here is some other data that I am proud of. In the days leading up to the election, Oct 27th- Nov 4th, 143 different people read this post and spent an average time of nearly 7 minutes on the page. I'm sure my impact on the election was huge, but not big enough. Since Nov 5th, the day after the election, 564 different people have logged on to my blog to try and understand how the world will soon end.

My friends, the end is inevitable. At this point we need to stop complaining and start acting. All that matters now is how we spend our time preparing for the end. That is what I would like to speak to you all about. Here is a list of what my female and I are doing to prepare for the end:

1. Build underground bunker (I started digging last Saturday)
2. Put together our food storage (My female has taken charge of this task)
3. Buy lots of guns and ammo (Bought my first gun last week before Obama makes it impossible to do so)
4. Learn self defense (I'm almost a master)
5. Pray that in 2012, Mitt will run again, win, ride into the white house on his white horse to save the constitution and the world from total destruction

As a third degree white belt in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, I have decided that it is my job to teach you all how to defend yourselves. Over the next few months I have planned a series of posts that will teach you about a few of the self defense techniques that I have mastered. I've used many of these moves while growing up on the tough streets of the upper east side of Salt Lake City and I attest that they do work.

These techniques were taught to me by Master Mashiro and can all be found in his book, one of the greatest books of all time, Black Medicine: Volume II, Weapons At Hand. For each of my posts in this self defense series, I plan to share a few self defense techniques explained by Master Mahsiro. In addition, for those who don't have a concealed weapons permit or may not have your gun with you during the time of an attack, I will share some of Master Mashiro's ideas on everyday household items that you can turn into makeshift weapons in a matter of seconds.

Now, for the first series of techniques. Please pay attention and take very seriously the words of Master Mashiro. The following was taken from the chapter titled, "Striking Points of the Arms and Hand."

"Fingernails: We are all familiar with the fact that fingernails can be used for scratching, an ineffective technique at best. They can also be used for clawing, however, which I more practical. In this context the nails can be used to achieve deep penetration into the eyes, throat and especially the nerve pressure points on the back of the hand. Some dedicated karate and kung-fu artists allow their nails to grow 1/4 to 1/2 inch long, and strengthen them with nail hardener. Naturally they also sandpaper the tips to a sharp edge. The wound produced by four of these nails slashed across a person's throat (like saw teeth) is difficult to believe even when seen." (I am already growing out my fingernails, as should you. I wonder how many throats Master Mashiro has seen slashed by fingernails)

"Tip of Thumb: The tip of the distal phalanx of the thumb, together with the sharp edge of the nail. The tip of the thumb is used for gouging, usually at the opponent's eyes but frequently involving the throat and other nerve pressure points. The trapezius muscle is especially vulnerable to a thumb gouge." Enjoy the picture.

"Thumb and Forefinger: Which of us does not know how to pinch with thumb and forefinger? This pinch can be very painful when applied in the lip or nose region, and can crush a testicle like a soft-boiled egg. When the pinch catches the thyroid cartilage in its grip it can actually be fatal." Enjoy the picture.

The following is taken from the chapter titled, "Makeshift Weapons"

"Bar of Soap: Sooner or later your captors will give you a bar of soap, if only to be relieved of the smell of you. Slip the soap inside your sock (or wrap it in a towel) and use it as a blackjack. Strike for the temple, for the mastoid process behind the ear, or for the collarbone."

"Shit: There is an old story about an oriental warrior who made a mess in his pants, let it slide down his pant leg, and then kicked it into the face of his enemy as a diversion. Just keep in mind the fact that if your place of confinement doesn't contain any dirt to throw in your kidnapper's face, you can always make some!"

Darth Spencer's Tip of the Week: If your shit attack doesn't work, your captors will most likely give you some soap to clean your hands and legs. If they do give you some soap, now you know what to do with it.

Stay tuned for more excellent self-defense techniques.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Jack Attack

Stardate 12-09-2009

I haven't been this excited for a new season of 24 for a long time. I loved the fill in the blank movie that they did back in November. It was full of great action, emotion, and a good story line, and excellent African stereotypes.

I found this great article written by Fred Topel about why 24 is Science Fiction. Some are good arguments, others however, are a bit of a stretch. Either way, it got me excited for the upcoming Jack Attack. My favorite was #3. Enjoy--

Like you, we have long thought of Fox's hit action show 24 as something outside our wheelhouse: Jack Bauer chases terrorists in real time, hour by hour, in the real world. No spaceships, no ghosts, no hobbits, no magic.

After six seasons, though, we are starting to change our minds. After careful consideration, we have come to a stark realization: 24 is SCIENCE FICTION!

We talked with star Kiefer Sutherland and some of the show's creators in Los Angeles earlier this week about our startling revelation. And we have to say they couldn't really dispute THE TRUTH.

With season seven starting this Sunday, Jan 11, at 8 p.m. ET/PT, it's becoming abundantly clear we can no longer ignore 24. You can decide for yourself, but here's our eight reasons why 24 is sci-fi.

1. It's in the future! If you add up all the years that have passed since season one, which took place in the present, the show's events are now taking place around the year 2017. They've always said that two years or so pass between each season's "day," and there have been several presidential administrations (whomever David Palmer ran against, David Palmer, Logan, Wayne Palmer and now Taylor). Producer Brannon Braga doesn't deny it! "Yes, technically 24 should have flying holographic cars right now,"

2. There's a fountain of youth. See above regarding how much time has actually passed. But everyone still looks about the same as when it all started! At the very least, the characters have miraculously slowed the aging process significantly. "I'm actually probably now finally my [real] age," Sutherland says. "I think I started out a little younger."

3. Teleportation. Anyone who lives in Los Angeles knows Jack Bauer breaks several laws of physics to get from point A to point B in the time it takes for a commercial break. They must be using some teleportation device or time-travel wormholes to do it. Gridskipper has helpfully calculated the speeds of some of Bauer's movements across Los Angeles: For example, Jack and Derek go from Wayne Palmer's Westwood condo to Ontario (California) International Airport via stolen car, covering 56 miles over 17 minutes, meaning they traveled at 195 mph. The Jacktracker helps you pinpoint how Bauer beams in and out of locations.

Season seven takes place in Washington, where things are closer together and there is mass transit. That gives Sutherland a whole new sense of power: "One thing that kind of struck me when I was there is you could feel the power emanating from the buildings," Sutherland added about his time on location. "It changes the way you walk, and it changes the way you talk. There is a different sense of urgency in that city, and so for me it was great to be there, to get a sense of that." That and the wormholes.

4. The dead rise In 24, it used to be that once you're killed, you don't come back. But this season will see the return of Carlos Bernard as Tony Almeida, who we saw die in Jack's arms from a hyoscine-pentathol injection. And our eagle eye spotted Reiko Aylesworth, who played Tony's deceased wife Michelle Dessler, at the 24 premiere party this week in Hollywood. And we know we saw her blow up!

5. We're in an alternate dimension. 24 is set in a reality similar to our Earth but significantly different in key ways: a world in which there was a black president before Barack Obama, where several presidential administrations had nothing to do with W., and where there is a female president whose first name is not Hillary or Sarah. Also, in this dimension, the federal government and agencies such as CTU are extremely effective and efficient, billionaires still have credibility, and torture actually works. "How wonderful in the light of a television show, if you take a look at all of the interrogation from season one down the line, he always interrogated the right people," Sutherland says of Bauer's taste for unpleasantness.

6. Cyborgs. No one eats, sleeps or pees. The characters must be cybernetic organisms, or humans with cyberpunk-like artificial enhancements implanted in their nerve cores. All they need for fuel is coffee. "I think we get so much grief over staying up for 24 hours, which I've always made fun of," Sutherland says. "There's always at least one day a season where we will stay up 24 hours trying to complete an episode. Generally it's the 23rd or the 24th episode, and we've stayed up for 24 hours. Imagine the adrenaline rush with the stakes that are involved for people that are dealing with counterterrorism." In all seriousness, if you like the continuing rush of Chuck, Sanctuary, Fringe and Lost, you'll also like 24.

7. Advanced technology. Jack Bauer's technological toys would make Captain Kirk weep with envy. Whenever Jack needs something, he just calls Chloe on her headset. She types in a few codes, and he magically has it instantly. "OK, Chloe, send that video imaging and infrared targeting info to my handheld." Five seconds later ... "OK, got it!" No dead spots. No rebooting. No crashed laptops. Cell reception underground. It's a miracle!

8. Because Brannon Braga says so. He should know: He produced Star Trek. Braga knows what's real and what's not. Even he admits that 24 stretches the boundaries of pure action. "24 is an action fantasy," Braga says. "I mean, it is. It's not sci-fi, but it is a fantasy for sure."

The reason is particularly stupid. The whole article is dedicated to proving that 24 is science fiction. Then on the last reason, the post a quote from one of the shows creators in which he specifically states that it is not sci-fi.