It is with great sadness and dismay that I announce my official retirement from Karate. Though shorter than my time working at Kyoto, I must admit that I had a good run with Master Jeff Openshaw at the Bobby Lawrence Dojo. I loved my time in the Dojo. Nevertheless, due to my commitment to family, lack of funds, and a nagging groin injury brought on by trying to do the splits, I've decided its time to step down. A word to the wise. If you don't want your face to be smashed in by my double hand palm and a little move I call Prancing Hoof, don't throw a round house kick my way. If you don't want your balls crushed by a double hammer fist courtesy of Wild Crushing Hammer, don't try to grab me from behind. And if you really don't want a mouth full of teeth, I would suggest that you don't charge at me from the front, because I won't hesitate to put my knees to your face with a little move called Halting Ram.
In honor of Darth Spencer's month long stint in the Octagon, I will be offering, for a very limited time, this commemorative Darth Spencer Karate Poster. Darth Spencer will only print 10 of these so act fast. $20.00 shipping and handling not includ.
Since my retirement, I've been looking for alternative ways to fill in the Karate void in my life. I've found that watching endless episodes of UFC Unleashed and reruns of The Ultimate Fighter just won't cut it. Here are some gems that I've come across:
Bas Rutten's "Lethal Street Fighting" Self Defence System DVD. Bas is the winner of over 200 deadly street fights. All of the knowledge, nay, WISDOM, that Bas has earned from these deadly brawls is taught in this DVD. I can't wait to buy it. Here are some of the gems that you can learn (I've added EMPHASIS to my favorites):*Strikes including the straight right punch, uppercut, the deadly palm heel strike, elbow strikes, nasty eye gouges and nose breaking head butts.
*Kicks including front kicks to the groin and solar plexus, knee smashes to the face and body, stomping kicks for when your opponent is down, roundhouse kicks to the head and body plus deadly low kicks to the legs.
*How to use everyday instruments as deadly weapons against your attacker such as beer bottles and chairs, street fighting strategy and much, much more!
Here is a portion of my favorite Amazon review for this DVD
"Bas explains the difference between a fight with rules and the no rules world of street fighting. The street calls for pure savagery when your life is on the line and there are no judges around to stop the bout. You will get an eye opener as to what street fighting is all about from spraying Tabasco in your attackers eyes to breaking his leg with one sharp turn of your body. Good stuff and great quality from Bas all the way. Bas is "THE MAN"! "
Probably the thing that both I and my woman are most excited for is the soon to be released movie, "Never Back Down," which opens in theatres today. Here is a brief synopsis. Jake is the new kid in town. After getting invited to a party, Jake is introduced into the underworld of MMA fighting in Orlando, FL the hard way. Jake better watch out. The guy who beats him up is the same guy who killed Marissa Cooper in the 3rd season of The OC. Not to be shown up, Jake takes lessons in MMA from a sagely trainer. Here is a trailer so you can see the awesomeness.
Is it just me or does this story seem awfully familiar?
I wonder how Jake will do in the All Valley Tournament? He better pray he doesn't face me.
4 comments:
Don't get me started on the MMA scene up in Orlando. You learn a lot when your back is against the wall up there.
Judd and I got to wrestling a bit the other day and he pulled a few street moves on me, including the "armpit extractor" and an attempted "nutcracker surprise." I haven't seen moves that dirty since Chris Jericho beat Goldberg.
Wow. This is news to me. It's unfortunate that I only became aware of it at the tail end. Nonetheless, the commemorative poster is evidence enough that sometimes, all you need is a month to master what takes a year for many.
Rob-
The underground MMA scene is almost as awesome as the dance club scene. I'm very proud to say that I went clubbing in Orlando and didn't dare speak to a single girl.
Diomedes-
Anything goes in street fighting. I would recommend keeping a bottle of tobasco sauce ready to squirt in his eyes the next time you guys wrastle.
Kyle-
You are very correct. By the end of the first month, I could have taken out any of the 9-14 year olds that were in my class, even if they were yellow belts.
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